Posts Tagged ‘Random’

The Art of Restraint

There have been few instances in my life where I have needed to use restraint. This evening was one of those times. Whenever I get home in the evenings, I park near my apartment on the edge of the complex and walk towards the center to get my mail. Tonight was no different.As I walked towards the steps leading to the hallway where the mailboxes are located, a car came barreling through the front gate apparently in pursuit of the handicapped loading zone that I was walking across. This “lovely individual” wanted to park her car there because she is too lazy to park a few feet away in a real space.I continued on and was pulling the last of my mail out when this “lovely individual” walked up and in all of her older, much wiser glory said, “Do you have any idea how close I came to hitting you just now, literally?” I glanced up at her a bit incredulously, glad my hands were occupied by mail and keys. I clamped down hard on my tongue because the first thing that came to mind was, “Do YOU realize how close I am to hitting you right now, literally?” I am definitely not violent, I would never even think of hitting someone else, tonight I came close. But I am also able to slay with my tongue. The next thing that popped into my head was, “Is the reason that you had to have the handicapped spot because you are blind?” It was growing dark outside but I wasn’t dressed in all black, in fact I had khaki pants on and was carrying a rather large white tote bag on my shoulder that was facing toward the gate.

At that point I figured there was nothing productive (or polite) that I could have said to her so I shut my mailbox, turned on my heal and walk right by her. As I round the corner I heard her murmur, “That’s right, keep on walking.” OOO mean things in me were fighting to come out but I just kept on walking. I realize that it isn’t very polite to ignore someone but in this case I had to bite my tongue like nobody’s business.

One consolation was that Brandon said he was proud of me for not rising and that he doesn’t know that he could have held his tongue. At least my husband loves me. 🙂

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There once was a potentially wild woman called Andrea. She was really special because she was ahead of her time. Everybody awaited her arrival with baited breath. Then she decided she wasn’t ready for her close up and turned and fled.All the world’s a stage and there is always a fresh excuse for some drama. The meteorologists and media were becoming quite giddy that there was a sub-tropical storm brewing and it was going to hit land! They dug out their dire predictions about how this is going to be the worst-possible-hurricane-season-EVER!! Everybody panic!!!!And then, the storm was downgraded and not expected to hit land. You could hear the utter dejection in the meteorologist’s voice as he forlornly proclaimed, “Well, (sigh) Andrea isn’t doing to well…” (His exact words.) He really did sound like someone had just shot his puppy.

Because a storm of any kind raining down its fury on anyone is a good thing? The total destruction and devastation it can bring is a good thing?

And thank you for personifying a storm.

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This Just In

News anchormen never cease to amuse me with their wit. Yesterday afternoon we had some spectacular thunderstorms. In our northern counties there were even tornado warnings. Since tropical storm Alison hit a few years ago any kind of weather is a major event in the local media. We like to poke fun when we see a reporter standing in ankle deep water, gravely speaking of wide spread street flooding in all of their dramatic glory. I had Brandon pause the DVD we were watching just so I could see what they would come up with on the 10pm news. I wasn’t disappointed. They reported high winds, hail, and an unconfirmed twister. They showed clips of limbs laying across roads, uprooted trees, and damaged houses. They aired interviews with overly excited, cream of the crop eye witnesses. Then came the gripping, ratings catching, Emmy winning commentary;”Nobody was seriously injured but a tree branch did fall on a man’s head.”And then they segued into another story. That’s it? We looked at each other and both burst out laughing. Brandon kept repeating, “This is so wrong, but I can’t stop laughing.” And they make the big bucks.

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Why Is..

..the thought of cleaning out the closet so horrid you would do all the laundry, clean every single surface, paint the entire house inside and out, balance all your accounts and do your taxes rather than face the daunting task? But, once you have completed the task of reorganizing and purging you feel like even your soul is a bit cleaner
…it you check on your toast in the toaster oven and find it is hardly tan only to come back a mere minute later to find it a lovely shade of charcoal?Life’s burning questions! I hope you have enjoyed today’s journey in randomness, you can go back to your regularly scheduled day now.

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